What's Cooking?

If you are a subscriber of the youtube channel I share with my boyfriend and/or follow me on any of my social media, you will notice I have a undying love for food. Food has always been my comfort. When I am bored, I eat. When I am anxious, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. When I am sad, I eat. When I am stressed, I eat. Eating never gets old to me and is 100% the cause of weight fluctuation throughout different periods of my life. To me there is larger significance to food than purely eating to fuel your body, it's fuel for your mind and soul as well. I will go more in depth about my feelings for food in this blog, but first I need to grab a snack.

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While I was growing up, my granny always seemed to be in the kitchen. I have such fond memories of sitting and playing with kitchen utensils while my favorite person cooked up the most delicious meals. Every childhood memory I have of her, she is in the kitchen. She had a little garden outside that laid beneath her kitchen window and on warm summer days, I would help her pick the herbs she wanted to use and we would munch on the cherry tomatoes while performing the task at hand. She was the person who emphasized the importance of using fresh ingredients to benefit not just the taste of each dish, but to benefit your body as well. My granny was born and raised in West Virginia. She recalls how her mother, my great grandmother, would make homemade pies completely from scratch with the greatest of ease without even looking at a recipe. Granny is somewhat bitter about not receiving the so-called "baking gene" from her mother, but in my opinion, she can do no wrong in the kitchen. Granny shows her love through cooking. Even to this day, I never leave her home hungry. She always asks if I have eaten or if I am hungry and almost always sends food home with me. She doesn't cook as much as she did when she was still living in the home she raised her three children in, but the woman can still through together a delicious meal with a simple flick of her wrist. And it's all because at age of 89, she still buys the best ingredients. She buys mostly organic and she loves visiting the Amish farms to buy all her produce during the summer months. She still has a little herb garden outside her front door of the condo she lives in that is apart of a retirement community. Her way of cooking is keep it simple, keep it fresh, and keep it coming. I'm thankful my granny has influenced me in many ways, but especially in the kitchen. She is truly one of a kind and I cherish every moment I spend with whether it's in kitchen or not.

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Some people make the assumption that white people don't season their food well enough. Those people have clearly never met my mom. The woman puts garlic powder, seasoning salt, and onion powder on her popcorn because salted butter is not enough. My mom is famous for making flavorful dishes. Much like my granny, she is a master at throwing together meals without much effort at all. She keeps it simple and I have never seen her follow a recipe except for if she is baking. My mom's chili is famous, not world famous or anything, but famous in our family. My dad, who hasn't been married to my mom in 12 years, still raves about it. She has never been afraid of spice. While she was pregnant with me, she craved Mexican food constantly and it's still her favorite food to this day. When my mom makes dinner, no spice is spared and not a ounce of spice is measured. She throws everything together with such ease. She always makes cooking so fun. When I was little, she bought me a mini apron so I could act like her little sous chef. When her and my dad were still married, we would all contribute something to the meal and gather around the table. I'm thankful to have grown up in a house where dinnertime was important. It's where we talked about how our days went, where problems were solved, and where laughs were had all while enjoying a delicious meal. I am very much old fashioned in that respect, I can't wait to raise my children with the same values. I want them to value the food they are putting in their body and value the time they share with their family. My mom is still one of the centers of my universe and to this day, food is what brings us together. Well, and margaritas, of course.

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When my parents got divorced, my world changed and so did my relationship with food. It morphed from cooking a family meal for three to cooking for one. My mom worked two jobs throughout my middle school and high school years. She essentially worked 7 days a week to provide for me. I could not be more thankful and appreciative for her sacrifice. Her being gone meant I had to cook for myself. I would pretend that I was on Food Network show and get to work creating different meals. Meals I still make to this day. I learned how to write my own rules in the kitchen and by that I mean none at all. I realized my creativity could be put to great use in the kitchen. Since I wasn't old enough to drive at that point in my life I was limited to the ingredients that were available to me at that time. It was kind of like the real life version of the show Chopped. Except without harsh criticism from judges who picked a winner, it was me eating what I wanted or what tasted good and giving the rest to my dog. I am thankful to have had that time as a young adult to experiment and I am thankful that was all I was experimenting on. Some teens would look at all of that time in a empty home as a prime time to have house parties, but I was more concerned about how to make shrimp scampi. Even as a "grown" adult (I still don't quite think I am there yet) I have had to be creative. I have gone through times where I have no money worries and I have had times where I am struggling. I've adopted a few of my best recipes simply out of the fact that was all I had in my kitchen and I don't have enough money to go to the grocery store. My famous BBQ chicken pizza was adopted during a struggle time. I have numerous baked potato recipes, pasta recipes, and ramen noodle recipes that are products of the struggle. I hope to do a series on Cooking with Em called Struggle Meals. But the most important reason I love to cook is because it puts my mind at ease. I am a naturally anxious person. I live inside my own head and I overthink like it's a full time job. In the kitchen all of my nerves and anxieties melt away. When I am stressed, I keep my hands and my mind busy by cooking or baking. It's cheaper than therapy. I second guess every move I make except for when I am in the kitchen. In the kitchen I am in control, I am decisive, and I am everything I wish I could be in my everyday life. Maybe one day I will get to the point where my confidence in the kitchen will translate to my life outside of the kitchen, but until then I am happy to have found my little sanctuary. My little place to escape the harsh realities of the world we live in today. I cook for the mind, body, and soul. But I don't just cook for myself. I cook for my friends, family, and boyfriend as well. I love being able to bring people joy through a home cooked meal and to also show them how much I love and appreciate them. I am lucky to have a boyfriend who eats everything I make even if he doesn't like it. He is my biggest cheerleader in the kitchen and I am his biggest cheerleader while he is on the basketball court.

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So as you can see cooking for me goes beyond the meal itself. It's all about how I learned to cook, about what I have learned from cooking, about who I cook for. Well all of that and because I just really love eating. I want to take some cooking classes so I can learn more and polish up my skills. I want to write a cookbook and maybe even have my own cooking show. I want to help make healthy food accessible to low income families. I want something I am so passionate about to be something that sparks a passion in others. I am working to make my world a better place with each meal or dessert I make. If you are interested in watching some of my cooking videos here's a link to my cooking playlist. Until then... xoxo

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHhWyiUxVuB2Jb_7S5wWaLJ5yFJ-h2aGG

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